“Knowing is Half The Battle”. The end of every episodes PSA ended with those Iconic words. If knowing is half the battle when it comes to seeing this movie, then the other pieces to this pie chart is quarter gullibility and quarter nostalgia. From jump street during the super bowl spot I KNEW this movie was gonna be epic-ly bad. But what was I expecting? a good 50/50 action/story driven movie based on an action figure. NO. I’m not an idiot Transformers 1 was a movie I loved when it came out and I think it was part nostalgia , part decent story that made me like that movie, never once did I forget I’m watching a movie with all intents and purposes that is based on a toy line that spawned a cartoon. The shitty trailers and I mean all of them were bad never hyped me for this movie. I saw it because I loved the cartoon. Plain and Simple.
The story was a little lacking to say the least. it also had some good elements (Mainly The Snake Eyes/Storm shadow back story) but pretty much what drove this flick was the effect and fight sequences, which looked awesome. The CG was great the ninja fights were great. Its just the plot of the thing was so bad it really ruined it for me. This movie was obviously made for 2 different groups of people: Children from ages 8-13 and people who grew up in the 80′s and who were upset “Snow Job” didn’t make an appearance in the arctic portions (I know I was). If I was an actual child, not just one at heart I would of loved it. I think Stephen Summer completely failed the fans of the series with this movie and from what I hear there are no plans to do a sequel( which I doubt tremendously). The acting was sub-par to say the least. Dennis Quaid phoned it in and Chanum Tatum was cardboard apparently emotions are not his strong point. The shining star in this movie was Marlon Wayons who was outstanding as his character “Ripcord” he was there to be the comic relief and it wasn’t forced and didn’t feel fake. I really think that he is a better actor than people give him credit for (See Requiem for a dream). Joseph Gordon Levitt was as much Cobra Commander as I am. Which is to say I’m not at all. Some elements were GI Joe and some were so bad it didn’t resemble anything close to the existing GI Joe story. I.E. the relationship between The Baroness and Cobra Commander.
I say if your a true ” Joe” Fan see the thing cause you have to, also if you like brain less action and hate story see it too. But don’t expect a story to wrap your brain around cause you won’t find it here, at all.
Growing up in the 80s there was no writer/director like John Hughes he had the ability to channel the American teenage angst like he was still in his teens. He was the quintessential writer/director when I was growing Up. Vacation was my absolute favorite growing up and Planes Trains and Automobiles has some of the most funny and tear-jerking scenes that ever appeared on screen. He died today August 6th 2009 at 59 although he has remained relatively unknown since 94 his movies still speak to any generation. Particularly The Breakfast Club which sadly I only saw for the first time about 8 months ago. And that movie spoke to the teen in me like no other movie has ever. It was so true and so honest at times it was like he talked to 16 year old John Hughes while he was writing it. The most amazing thing about that movie is that he wrote it in less than a day. There are not many people who could pull that off let alone make a high school master piece. John Hughes may have been absent in the movie directing game for more than a decade but he will missed by me like he never stopped. Who Will Save Ferris Now?!! Because of John Hughes There was a Kevin Smith and Because of John and Kevin I got back into movies, comics and basic pop culture shit and became the geek I am! No John Hughes, No Kevin Smith, The Rafael Umana who writes this blog does not exist. Thank You John for your Films and Thank you for what you created. And know that ever since Uncle Buck I always wanted giant pancakes!
Till Next time. Thanks for reading.
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